So I've had all these thoughts swirling around in my head. So I took them to the blog. I don't have anything against science. It's important. But this story concerns me. I might get over it. It might stay with me for a while. But I'm not gonna freak out. Even if we have four more years until the end of the world. Even if Nostradamus and the Mayans predicted correctly. I'm not gonna freak out. Because of this--
"Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night." 1 Thessalonians 5:1-2
"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, not the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Matthew 24: 36-39
"So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." Matthew 24: 44
Plus, I know where I'm going anyway. It's better than this. Even though I have plans--watching my girls grow through the years, experiencing that with them. College. Weddings. Grand babies. Travel. Writing. Swimming in faraway oceans. Gracefully, peacefully, growing older and even more feisty with my hubby. Even though I have plans, regardless of if I get what I want, I know I'm going to get what I need. Because of this--
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6-7
I totally didn't mean to go all Bible Thumper. (I did warn ya though) I just sat down and this is what came out. And I know that given my great ability to know a little about a lot, I will stop here. I think I needed to remind myself of all of the above more than anything.
I will say that lately (before I even read the Big Bang story), I have been having some seriously bad dreams. I need to stop eating Butter and Cracked Pepper popcorn right before bed or stop watching Fox News for a while or something. So now I'd like to interrupt this service announcement and tell you about my dreams.
So the first one was bad. I'm just gonna tell it like I saw it. My family and I were at the park. It was a beautiful day. The grass was extra green and the sky was extra blue. We were near a soccer field. The park was on this slope and the soccer field was at the bottom of the slope. All of a sudden, all these helicopters start flying in and landing on the soccer field. Army helicopters. A lot of Army helicopters. It was loud and hectic. Everyone started running over to the soccer field to see what was going on. People were running out of their houses and stopping their cars in the middle of the street and coming over. Just as my family and I started coming down the slope from the park. There was an earthquake. And everything went dark--like night. I was second guessing it, cuz I could see fireworks in the sky. I even have denial in my dreams. And as we're walking down the slope in the darkness, the ground starts to give underneath us. A landslide. The ground is literally moving under my feet. It is at this point, I realize I am holding a baby. A newborn. Just then, I feel the ground meet my back. I didn't fall, it was just dirt rolling down behind me. The next thing I knew, the dirt was going over my family and I. Over our heads. We were being buried in the landslide. Horrible. It was incredibly real and vivid. I felt that, this is it, moment. Seconds later, I could hear muffled voices, and screams. It was of course all the people around us and above us. Somehow, and I remember feeling great relief, I pushed myself out of the dirt and found my hubby and girls. I still had the baby. We were okay. That was my last thought before I woke up. I have not stopped thinking about that dream. So real.
A couple nights later, I had the worst dream ever about one of my family members. I don't want to go into detail, but one of those dreams that takes the breath out of you and leaves you feeling incredibly sad. For days.
I mention this next dream because it kind of ties in with the one above, where I had the newborn. I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and about to be induced. The doctor said at 10:00 a.m. I remember being very surprised I was about to have a baby, obviously unaware that I was pregnant. I didn't really look pregnant either. My body was pretty smallish (something that my body is very unfamiliar with). I remember rationalizing how I hadn't even felt the baby move or kick. I was feeling my stomach, trying to find it. Sure enough, I found two little feet and ankles, assuming their position at the bottom of my ribs. I got excited about that and it really hit me then, that I really was about to have a baby.
Also in the dream, we were getting ready to move back to San Antonio. I think I even mentioned in the dream "Let's get the show on the road" (aka...Have this baby) , because we were moving the next day. I was thinking about where I'd want to live this time in San Antonio. Thinking of neighborhoods I'd seen. But at the end of the dream, I was walking through my house, pregnant, and crying about leaving. See how I am?
So, I've been a bit of a mess lately. More so in dreamland though. I just over analyze when I'm awake. What does this mean?! But yesterday I put my thoughts on hold, when one of my favorite people in the world called me up and invited me to hang out with him that afternoon. My dad. This is a rare occurrence, getting my dad all to myself. I felt maybe around 10-years-old again when he asked me. Not a bad feeling.
(this was my dad and I when we went camping last summer...don't do this at home kids...or camping!)
Anyhoo, yesterday we went to Mike's Second Hand Store up in Estacada--
--I picked up a Visitor's Guide that had an article about Mike and his store. It was chock full of junk. Good junk. And that Mike guy is real particular when it comes to his junk. It has to be good junk. And he keeps it as neat as can be considering how very loaded up his shop is. There is actually great order and thought put in to it. It's an organized mess. He has notes all over the place telling you to put what you pick up right back where it was. Lots of notes. Lots. He has a good sense of humor. Mike had a sign that said: "Warning! Studies have determined that junk buying can be extremely hazardous to your health and pocket book. It's addictive--and expensive--know when to say when. With love, Uncle Mike."
I don't usually go to junk stores like this, but it was actually pretty neat. I might've had more to do with the fact that I was with my dad! Just me! And he was having fun too! It was just fun tinkering around the place. You had to go real slow, cuz you are totally going to miss something. You're gonna miss something anyway, cuz there's just so much. I was so bummed that I missed these two hurricane lamps this lady found...two of them, only $35 a piece! They are hard to find. My hubby's mom has one I love and I've been trying to find one like it. I was totally bummed I missed it. My dad found sand paper,and these big clips for his work table. He was thrilled. I found two cool rolling pins. Cuz that's just how I roll (ha ha).
Mike had all these antique irons. I loooooved them. I wanted to get one to use as a door stop (Yes, my hubby rolled his eyes at me too, it's okay, I understand). My dad told me he had one he could give me that was his grandmother's. Awesome. I'm 10-years-old all over again.
So given that most of this post is a bit doom and gloom, I hope you see the positive in it too. The good stuff. And if you don't then please feel free to check out these guys--