Thursday, May 27, 2010

Itchy & Scratchy

It has been requested that I blog about this to demonstrate the funny.  As much as I would like to say that one of my daughter's drew the picture above, I cannot--it's all mine.  It's the first time I have ever used the "Paint" program and that sucker was hard. My hand actually has a cramp in it. I had to "undo" a lot, so believe it or not, that is my best effort up there.  You needed to "see" this story to some degree though.  You can thank me later.

Okay, so last night we went to my niece's ("Little Tina") choir concert at her school.  It was quite the production and you could tell they obviously worked really hard preparing for it--a lot of dresses and spiky hair too. One little girl with an enormous amount of hair (borderline Cousin It) even had a "Bump Its" to make her big hair, bigGER. They also had kazoos --please notice them holding their kazoos, cuz it did take some time to draw those suckers. 

Now, you all know whatever they sang was seriously cute, so I'm not really gonna talk about the singing, so much as I'm gonna talk about the kiddos.  I started out focusing on my niece, cuz she's my people and she is seriously a little Drama Mama up there on the stage.  She has 101 expressions and she has mOvEs (she gets that from me).  As soon as the music comes on, girl is shaking it.  So I have nicknamed her "Little Tina" as in, Tina Turner.  She doesn't have one inch of stage fright.  Girl's gonna go far.

So anyway, the show starts and they start just a-singing away.  Not ten seconds into it, "Scratchy" (standing next to Little Tina) starts uh...scratching.  Right there, in the front row, just as free as a bird. Bless her little heart and 5-year-old "If you've got an itch, scratch it" mentality.  Try as I might, I really tried to ESP to her to stop, but girl didn't hear me.  Oh, honey child.

So, while Scratchy, scratched, I turned my focus back on to Little Tina, who was still getting down with her bad self. You know how the music teacher stands up in front of everyone, directs and has all these hand signals to tell the kids to sing louder, or softer, etc...?  And the teacher is kind of bopping up and down to the music too, to keep the kids on the beat?  Little Tina was basically her teacher's mirror image.  That was pretty entertaining.  There was a lot going on.

When it came time to play the kazoos (Take Me Out to the Ball Game), there was one little kid that forgot his kazoo.  Poor Little Ross.  I named him that, cuz he looked just like "Ross" from Friends.  He had his hands in his pockets the entire show.  He was super-duper cutie pie.  You could tell he was totally bummed he forgot his kazoo, and he had a couple of involuntary tears roll down his face.  Bless his heart. He kept on singing though and when it came time to do the kazoos, he smiled (smile) and used his imagination and on the kazoo parts, he hummed to himself. Hmmmm me out to the hmmmm...hmmm...take me out to the hmmmmm...

Then Itchy started up.  She was the girl on the other side of Little Tina. Same thing as Scratchy.  Front row.  Please, Lord, let that not follow her the rest of her adolescent life.

Let me not forget Little Girl with the Blanket.  Yep, a blanket, all tucked in her armpit (which I just love, love, love), cuz you know, if it's in her armpit we can't see it.  Sweet, sweet girl.  Whatever helps you sing.

Then there was the boy with the hair and armpits. Wow, that's two armpit references. It is your lucky day. Anyway, between checking his hair's spike factor over and over and the condition of his armpits (think Mary Katherine Gallagher), we've decided at some point he's going to be really ticked at his mom that she made him be in choir.  He did what he had to do, but he was totally, totally out of his element. Already. He's gonna be a linebacker, just so you know. His hair was really, really cool though.

And I have saved the best little sweet darlin' for last.  Poor thing.  Totally did not, not, not want to be there.  She totally brought back the phrase, "space cadet" for me.  I hadn't thought of that phrase for years, but my Dad used to say it a lot. Sweet girl didn't sing a note, and was a fan of rolling her eyes, though now that I think about it, she was just looking at the ceiling. She had a gigantic watch on and in between yawns checked the time.  She might have laid down.  She was stinkin' cute. 

They all were. And funny. Even the one sitting behind me that sneezed Ritz Crackers all over my neck and hair.  It's all good.    

**I'm really sorry to say that Bump Its Girl and Little Girl with the Blanket didn't make the drawing.  I remembered them after the fact and my hand hurts. 


Jen said...

I love love LOVE that you can't draw any better than I can! I suck at drawing! And yet--this is where you're better than me--I could totally picture the scene you described because of the helpful drawing. You're awesome! So are those silly kids! Not the Ritz cracker sneezer though. I keel him for you.

Veronica said...

This i one of the most hilarious blog posts I have ever read in my life. I can literally picture every single one of those kids, haha!!