You Might As Well Laugh

How much does an ark cost?  I really want to get a travel trailer, but these days it seems like an ark makes WAY more sense.  It's raining.  Still.  I need it to stop doing this.  I'm not originally from Oregon, but even Oregonians are complaining and true Oregonians don't complain about the rain.  It seriously feels like November.  There was a ray of hope that this weekend was going to be a nice one, that we were going to actually make it into the 70's and the good ol' sun would make an appearance.  I'm still waiting on her, sunglasses and flip flops poised and ready.   

Given that The Hubbs is home for a minute, we were really looking forward to the looooong weekend and doing stuff outside.  Like the beach.  We were going to do that yesterday,  but decided to go to OMSI instead, look at stuff and stay dry. It was a good choice. 

After we shut OMSI down, we had some hot wings here-- http://www.portlandwings.com/. Then we stopped at Lloyd Center to walk the mound of chicken wings and sweet potato tots off.  Exercise.  Our last stop was Barnes and Noble. The girls had some allowance burning a hole in their pockets, so while they perused the chapter books, I too looked at books (of course) and then cards.  I've been taking it old school lately and trying to communicate like we used to, back in the olden days.  I don't want to lose that form of communication in this techy world we live in. We still need to do these things.

Eventually, in my reading of many cards, I came across a series of cards by "QuoteUnQuote" and found myself laughing out loud.  This happens often.  I encourage it.  I'm totally going to live longer, because I let stuff out. I had to buy every single one of them cards.  I don't even know who they are going to yet, but I could not walk away without having them in my hot little hands.  This will make people I know laugh.  And that's my favorite part.  Enjoy--and don't be surprised if one of these cards shows up in your mailbox. 

You're welcome.

Itchy & Scratchy

It has been requested that I blog about this to demonstrate the funny.  As much as I would like to say that one of my daughter's drew the picture above, I cannot--it's all mine.  It's the first time I have ever used the "Paint" program and that sucker was hard. My hand actually has a cramp in it. I had to "undo" a lot, so believe it or not, that is my best effort up there.  You needed to "see" this story to some degree though.  You can thank me later.

Okay, so last night we went to my niece's ("Little Tina") choir concert at her school.  It was quite the production and you could tell they obviously worked really hard preparing for it--a lot of dresses and spiky hair too. One little girl with an enormous amount of hair (borderline Cousin It) even had a "Bump Its" to make her big hair, bigGER. They also had kazoos --please notice them holding their kazoos, cuz it did take some time to draw those suckers. 

Now, you all know whatever they sang was seriously cute, so I'm not really gonna talk about the singing, so much as I'm gonna talk about the kiddos.  I started out focusing on my niece, cuz she's my people and she is seriously a little Drama Mama up there on the stage.  She has 101 expressions and she has mOvEs (she gets that from me).  As soon as the music comes on, girl is shaking it.  So I have nicknamed her "Little Tina" as in, Tina Turner.  She doesn't have one inch of stage fright.  Girl's gonna go far.

So anyway, the show starts and they start just a-singing away.  Not ten seconds into it, "Scratchy" (standing next to Little Tina) starts uh...scratching.  Right there, in the front row, just as free as a bird. Bless her little heart and 5-year-old "If you've got an itch, scratch it" mentality.  Try as I might, I really tried to ESP to her to stop, but girl didn't hear me.  Oh, honey child.

So, while Scratchy, scratched, I turned my focus back on to Little Tina, who was still getting down with her bad self. You know how the music teacher stands up in front of everyone, directs and has all these hand signals to tell the kids to sing louder, or softer, etc...?  And the teacher is kind of bopping up and down to the music too, to keep the kids on the beat?  Little Tina was basically her teacher's mirror image.  That was pretty entertaining.  There was a lot going on.

When it came time to play the kazoos (Take Me Out to the Ball Game), there was one little kid that forgot his kazoo.  Poor Little Ross.  I named him that, cuz he looked just like "Ross" from Friends.  He had his hands in his pockets the entire show.  He was super-duper cutie pie.  You could tell he was totally bummed he forgot his kazoo, and he had a couple of involuntary tears roll down his face.  Bless his heart. He kept on singing though and when it came time to do the kazoos, he smiled (smile) and used his imagination and on the kazoo parts, he hummed to himself. Hmmmm me out to the hmmmm...hmmm...take me out to the hmmmmm...

Then Itchy started up.  She was the girl on the other side of Little Tina. Same thing as Scratchy.  Front row.  Please, Lord, let that not follow her the rest of her adolescent life.

Let me not forget Little Girl with the Blanket.  Yep, a blanket, all tucked in her armpit (which I just love, love, love), cuz you know, if it's in her armpit we can't see it.  Sweet, sweet girl.  Whatever helps you sing.

Then there was the boy with the hair and armpits. Wow, that's two armpit references. It is your lucky day. Anyway, between checking his hair's spike factor over and over and the condition of his armpits (think Mary Katherine Gallagher), we've decided at some point he's going to be really ticked at his mom that she made him be in choir.  He did what he had to do, but he was totally, totally out of his element. Already. He's gonna be a linebacker, just so you know. His hair was really, really cool though.

And I have saved the best little sweet darlin' for last.  Poor thing.  Totally did not, not, not want to be there.  She totally brought back the phrase, "space cadet" for me.  I hadn't thought of that phrase for years, but my Dad used to say it a lot. Sweet girl didn't sing a note, and was a fan of rolling her eyes, though now that I think about it, she was just looking at the ceiling. She had a gigantic watch on and in between yawns checked the time.  She might have laid down.  She was stinkin' cute. 

They all were. And funny. Even the one sitting behind me that sneezed Ritz Crackers all over my neck and hair.  It's all good.    

**I'm really sorry to say that Bump Its Girl and Little Girl with the Blanket didn't make the drawing.  I remembered them after the fact and my hand hurts. 

"She's Kinda Like the Principal"

Lately, Addy's been waking me up at the crack of dawn to tell me about her dreams.  She's been a dreamy girl lately--again, further proof the child is mine, mine, mine.  We do this. Regular. Last night she had a dream that she and her cousin, Alexis, were riding the bus home together after school and another girl started picking on Alexis.  Addy proudly told me how she stood up for Alexis and told the bully-girl she better stop or, "I'm telling my mom!"

Side Note:  We watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last night and Addy went on and on about how brave Harry was.  I think this had something to do with her dream.  Awesome.  

Anyway, so in her dream, the bully-girl progressed to slapping Alexis, so Addy pulled The Card, and warned the bully-girl--"MY MOM'S ON THE PTO! She's kinda like the Principal."  

Enough said. 




p.s. I sure don't condone fighting, but I sure do condone the standing up for oneself and others.  Be brave.

A Couple Days In The Life Of...

Today I'm gonna be random.  Who me?  I'm just gonna be pulling stuff (pictures) out of nowhere to show you my world.  You will be confused and surprisingly want more, more, more.  See how I live in my head?  It's fun in here.

I had a party last night and here was my Menu:

Chiles Rellenos Bake
Roasted Veggies
Parmesan Crusts with My Bangin' Salad
Rosemary Shortbread
Fresh Fruit Tartlets
Chocolate Brownie Bites with Ganache

I absolutely needed to have friends ring my doorbell, sit on my couch, share a bottle (or six) of wine, eat some delicious food and laugh.  We succeeded in all of that.

Before that though, I had to prepare--my fridge.  I was so proud of my fridge and all it could do that I had to take a picture.  It was so FULL (rare) and happy.  You need to see.  Let's pretend we're on Cribs.

Told you it was random. My stairs were vacuumed AND my fridge was full.  I must tell the world! It makes me feel like Superwoman.

Also yesterday, I went on a field trip to the zoo, zoo, zoo (how about you, you, you...)  with a heckofalotta 1st graders.  It was a perfect day in Portland--not so much.  It's been raining...forever.  I think we're stuck in November.  Torrential downpours, y'all, and a lot of them.  Very wet out here.  So we just layered up, got out the umbrellas (even though my sister basically called me a wimp, cuz Oregonians don't use umbrellas--Hello!!  I lived in Arizona 18 years and Texas for six! So I just ignored her) got on the rain boots and went to see the tigers.  I love me some tigers, lions and cheetahs, even though they would eat me. 

I sorta have a love hate relationship with the zoo.  I love animals to pieces, but dang I hate seeing elephants pacing in a cage the size of my living room.  That sucks.  And I wonder if lions just hate Oregon.  They are totally supposed to be in Africa.  Big difference. 

Anyhoo...we had the good time despite the threat of rain and the desire for toes and fingers to warm up all the live long day.  We were chilly willy.  So when we went to eat our sacked lunches with our little group of chaperoned kidlets, we tried to find some place warm-ish.  We ate with the elephants.  No lie. Not the most ideal setting (smell-wise), but it was indoors, and we just pretended we were watching Animal Planet. My favorite part of the day was when one of the moms --> Kim <-- pulled out a cutting board and cut up some Chipotle cheese.  It.was.awesome.  Right there next to the elephants.  As I munched on my peanut butter and honey sandwich I swooned over how awesome she was (and discussed some day inventing wine in a Capri-Sun-like pouch, and making a gazillion dollars) and told her she was blog-worthy.  I had to take a pic and tell you all about it.  You just don't see this every day.  I will work field trip chaperone days around this lady from here on out!

Please notice the elephant in the background.

Now, to end this blog post and continue the randomness up until the very last letter, here's a picture of our Eucalyptus tree we had to cut down last weekend cuz it's supposed to be in Australia, not my backyard. Like the lions at the zoo, that's a big difference. Ice is hard on trees. But I'm proud of my father-in-law and Hubbs for taking it down all manly-like without taking the house out, or the neighbor's fence. 

Dad in the Eucalyptus.

Eucalyptus down.

And...the cutest little man ever-ah--

This That & Some Other Stuff

Catch up time.  So, since the last time, stuff has happened.  I turned 37, on Cinco de Mayo which is like the best day ever-ah to have your birthday.  I totally love my birthday!  I love the idea of the universe revolving around you for one day, the birthday wishes, the cake and the presents! I could not wait to quote the dad on Modern Family and say, "I can't think of anything I don't want" for my birthday, on my Facebook status. I honestly think the older we get the MORE we should celebrate--we should be celebrating our big day the grown up equivalent of Chuck E. Cheese parties.  What WOULD be the equivalent?  I don't really like Chuck E. Cheese (not even a little), but the kiddos sure do--did (they are so over the big mouse these days).  But you know what I mean (read my mind).  We should be celebrating--big.  We're alive to see another...!! 

Birthday Margarita--a must.

My Girl Val and I celebrating "37".

Let's see, what else...I finished my big PTO duties for the year.  I was really smart back in August, when we were scheduling all our PTO stuff, and I lined up two of my really big jobs back to back.  I was in charge of Rex Reader and Staff Appreciation Week.  Holy Smack was I busy and QUITE the little bossy thang.  I'm pretty sure my PTO peeps are still friends with me, but they could totally be pretending, cuz they totally saw another side of Sunshine the last couple o' months.  I felt like I was on The Apprentice.  Lost a little sleep, I did.  But everythang went so smoothly, no doubt to my fantastical PTO peeps and the momma's that I peer pressured into volunteering.  And that I can boss real good.  The last two days of Staff Appreciation Week I got sick, sick, sick though--entirely predictable when I get busy, busy like that.  I managed to get two PTO peeps sick along with me AND one of their boyfriends AND my neighbor.  What can I say?  I have a gift.

I promised myself not to clean my house until after all that stuff in the above paragraph and now I've got one big mess to clean up.  I feel like moving and just starting all over--that's how messy my house is right now. I'm actually giving furniture away so I don't have to dust it.  I'm learning people, I'm learning.  Next year, I will plan my activities with down time in between AND pay someone to clean my house for me during those activities--AND walk the dog, brush my girls' hair and make sure they have clean socks.

Mother's Day weekend was a gift.  I had one of the best weekends with my own little family, that I've had in a loooong time.  The sun was out and The Hubbs was home for once (did I mention he's been home like 3 days out of the entire two months?  So there was that too in the second paragraph too.).  We filled it up with a sweet bike ride up to New Seasons (prolly about a mile or so) and had lunch there, outside.  We picked out fancy cheese, crackers, Spanish nuts, foo foo drinks and grilled cheese for the chick-a-dees and ate outside in the sunshine.  Then we rode our bikes back the long way and took the dog-child up to the park for a long walk.  It was a beautiful, beautiful day. 

Sunday we a had (let me be specific) Cinnamon Burst French toast (Great Harvest bread, y'all) and turkey bacon (bacon, bacon, bacon).  Then I got all fancy pants and copied picnic food ideas out of Family Fun magazine and we went on a picnic to the Rhododendron Garden.  Another beautiful, perfect day out with my family. We finished it off with a Mother's Day/Birthday family BBQ. Good food, good people, badminton, strawberry shortcake and a gift certificate for a spa.  Let me just tell you that I needed this entire paragraph.

Bike Ride

This makes me happy.

I love this, a-very much.

Good.

Picnic.

I love pretty things.

Next up dance recitals and summer.  I spent $74 on dance tights this week. Within ten minutes, A-girl lost her ballet pink tights (of course she did) and I had to go back and GET MORE ballet pink tights.  You have no idea how freakity I get over losing tights and ballet/tap/jazz shoes this time of year.  And the stress of tying head bands in my girls' hair that undoubtedly will pop off two seconds into their performance, is probably taking a couple days off of my life.  I hate doing my girls' hair for things like this. There is always tears.  Always. ((OOOOOOOLIVIAAAA)) The fact that I've been a girl for 37 years now, means NOTHING when I go to do her hair.  I'm stressed just typing this out.  I would let her do her own hair, but I know that's gonna come back to bite me in the arse years from now when she's looking back at her dance pictures and freaking out that I let her do her own hair ("Look at all the bumps!").  I know this.  I have been there, looking back at pics from my adolescence and wondered why no one helped a sistah out.  She will thank me later. I rely on the thank yous at a later time OFTEN.

Well, alas, my blogging time is over.  Now to go count tights and dance shoes and brush the bumps out for the dance performance today.  I've gotta go make some blogging material.  Toot-a-loo!