Friday, October 29, 2010

The Goosebump Incident

Over the last couple of years, Halloween has steadily become one of our favorite holidays.  I suddenly realized it gives me an ((other)) excuse to decorate the crap out of my house, and not only adorn my house with all the fixings of fall (my favoritest season of all, all, all), but also the cute little Halloweenie stuff...the lighted jack-o-lanterns, the candy corn, the spookity kitties and creepy little spiders, the Casper-like ghosts, and only witches that look like Glenda from the Wizard of Oz (or your favoritest grandma).  I have a strict rule of only cute, not scary--MUCH to my kiddos' dismay. We don't do blood and gore or anything with eyes that follow you everywhere you go.  Don't even mention (devils)--I will punch you.  Seriously, my kiddos will thank me later (otherwise known as 2:00 a.m.).

And then there's The Goosebump's Incident.  My niece, who is one year younger than my youngest, is completely into the scary stuff.  She loves blood.  Her dad works for The Red Cross, so it's not weird.  Anyway, she really loves the Goosebump books and movies.  I remember those suckers as scaring the ever-living out of me when I was like 15, so I can't imagine how a 4-yr-old (at the time) could handle it, but she totally loves it, and can still sleep through the night. 

Two Halloween's ago, we were at grandma's house for a family thang and ((someone)) brought a Goosebump movie over for the kiddos to watch.  My kiddos hadn't read the books, never mind seen any of the movies.  Normally, I know better.  My radar went up and everything, but I ignored it, because of the peer pressure (I don't do well with that).  So I totally caved and let the girls watch it, knowing FULL WELL, how it would turn out. 

Well, my girls played it ever-so-cool during the movie, insisting that they loved it (every single of the 10 times I checked on them).  It was the Goosebump movie called, The Mask--something about a mask getting stuck on your face for eternity.  I saw one glimpse of it and had to get the heck out of there (checking on them after that from the stairs--"everybody all riiiight?").

After the movie, everyone was all smiles and insisting it was "the best movie ever".  Hugs.  Kisses.  Time to go. So, as we're loading them in the car, the second we hear the seat belt locks pop into place from the back seat--HYSTERICS.  WEEPING. We hadn't even put the car into reverse yet.   This is the part I knew was coming, yet, I was still shocked.  Really?  Two seconds ago you were chasing each other around grandma's couch with fake masks on your face.  I wasn't expecting them to lose their minds in the driveway.  I really thought it would be around 2:00 a.m.  Huh.

So yeah, we don't do scary, no matter what they say.  Plus, I think I have a little of my childhood still with me.  We totally didn't celebrate Halloween when I was little.  My parents didn't believe in it (that's where ((the devil)) comes in).  Can I just tell you how much I hate typing that word out, let alone thinking, or saying it.  How old am I?  Some things just never ever go away. 

In elementary school, I didn't get to wear a costume to school, or participate in that delightful costume parade that every single kid in the US of A got to do.  During trick-o-treating, we had our porch light shut off *tight*, and went to church. Did anyone see The Middle this week?  Yeah...just like that, minus Sue's crayon costume (we had no costumes).  You should Hulu, so you know what I'm talking about.

Okay, so things have changed over the years, considerably.  We do, do (my friend, JWoww, looooves when I say "do, do", so that was especially for her) Halloween now.  Cutsie.  It's for the kids.  They will not miss out on this tradition.  And meeeee neither.

This is The Hubbs and I in like 1997.  We were married for a year and had a dog (no kids).  I got this costume idea out of a Family Fun magazine (Hey--I worked in the schools--it's a great magazine!).  We're supposed to be Rold Gold pretzels.  Notice the--already opened--bag of pretzels?  We had to bring the bag of pretzels to prove that we weren't dressed up as piles of dog poop.  Doesn't The Hubbs looked THRILLED?  He obviously reeeeeally liked me.

The "Pretzels" were the last time I can remember dressing up with The Hubbs until now...or in this picture back in 2008.  He's a--what is he?  A tough guy, I think (I think he has some cigarettes rolled up in his other shirt sleeve), and I'm Pippi Longstocking (I looooooved me some Pippi back in the day).  I'm scrappy.

Last year we were--guesss...No, not Lucy and Desi.  A Stepford Couple.  Now you see it!

This year, I've been mulling over a couple things.  Snooki is VERY tempting for me this year, but you know, probably not THE BEST costume ever to be standing in my driveway handing out candy to the neighborhood.  I think we're doing Popeye and Olive Oyl.  Which was crazy last night--did you SEE The Office?  Jim and Pam were Popeye and Olive Oyl! My next blog post is going to be how ABC and NBC is freaking spying on my life--I have PLENTY of examples of this--which I will show you.  Next time.

Have a creepy little Halloween!

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